My Aversion to the Epic Public Meltdown
…Until that fateful day when you can’t get a sitter. Grandma *gasp* isn’t available that day. You have to make an emergency appointment and don’t have time to arrange child care. Or, being that you were having such an extraordinarily great day, you find yourself thinking, “Hey! I’m a great mom and I can do it all. How bad can it be…Right?”
To answer that question:
Bad.
REAL bad.
The Situation
A couple of weeks ago my cell phone screen randomly exploded. It was right before a holiday weekend and since I was having heart palpitations from even the thought of being phone-less for an entire weekend, I deemed the situation a “Class 5 Emergency”. With my two kids in tow, I rushed to the nearest cell phone provider.
Big mistake.
I was not mentally prepared for how incredibly slow that store would be or how much energy I would expend while attempting to corral my two kids exuberant behaviours.
My kids were angels for the first 15 minutes, but it all went downhill thereafter. They had quickly hit their limit for good behaviour and it was as if my little cherubs had become possessed with sugar-infused demons.
They became restless.
And relentless.
I was in for an epic public meltdown of unparalleled proportions.
The Embarrassing Moment
First the big one began running around in circles, taunting the little one. My son retaliated by refusing to stay in my arms, pushing away and screaming as if my very touch was scalding his skin.
Seconds later, my son was making break for the staff room, and my 4 year old daughter had decided that she must press every single button on the phones on display.
There was obnoxious crying, tantrums, shrieks and giggles, all amplified x1000 within that otherwise silent room. I looked at the cracked screen of my phone.
It had only been 16 minutes.
What!
Every minute felt like an eternity.
My Saviour With A Pony Tail
I was almost ready to walk out that door, to throw in that metaphoric towel that we all dread metaphorically throwing. That is, until one of the older men who had been standing back watching this epic public meltdown unfold, whom my preschooler had earlier made a not-so-quiet remark about how only girls should have ponytails, turned around.
Initially I thought he was ready to tell me off, but instead he started to tell me a story about his grandchildren and how infrequently he gets to see them. My daughter took to him instantly, kamagra us coyly smiling and popping out from between my legs. It wasn’t long before he was walking around the small store with my preschooler in tow, pretending to take her picture with every single phone.
She was in paparazzi heaven, and I could finally breathe again.
His small act of kindness not only lit up my daughter’s face, but the entire room. Everyone laughed at the sight of the two of them and began chatting with one another. As the awkward silence lifted and my parenting skills were no longer the focus, my embarrassment began to fade.
To this older man, I thank you for the kindness, patience and respect that you had shown to my daughter. Your actions not only helped me cope with the extra time that we had to wait, but I didn’t even lose my shit during my daughter’s emergency bathroom crisis that happened literally seconds after it was our turn.
Seriously.
Thank you.
Kindness Goes A Long Way
To all of the strangers that have helped my family while in public, thank you.
Thank you to the bank account manager who let my kids trash her office and eat all of her candy so that I could sign some urgent paperwork.
Thank you to the mom I don’t know at my daughter’s hour-long gymnastics class. She took my screaming toddler for a long walk while I, flushed with the embarrassment, took a moment to gather myself.
Thank you to my doctor who didn’t say a word as I rocked my crying son in his car seat with my foot as she completed my physical exam.
Thank you to the entire grocery store that has been subjected to the most awful newborn screeches known to man, on multiple occasions, even though I finished feeding my baby right before leaving the house.
Thank you to my Aunt, who at a large family gathering told me to take the blanket off my flailing, breastfeeding baby.
Parenting in Public Sure Ain’t Easy
Parenting isn’t easy.
Parenting in public definitely isn’t easy.
It’s not easy, but it is much more manageable when instead of seeing a stranger’s look of disdain, you are met with a reassuring smile.
If you find yourself out in public, watching a mom dragging her screaming toddler out of a store, don’t assume that she is a bad mother.
Don’t assume that the child is a menace to society.
And please don’t stare judgementally at the scene unfolding.
The mom is embarrassed enough.
Instead, go offer her some help. Carry the diaper bag she’s holding. Help her with her groceries. Tell her toddler a funny joke. Most importantly, tell her that she is doing just fine. That we all go through it.
Go ahead, make that mom’s day.
Be a Hero.
Do you have a story you want to share about your child’s public meltdown? Have you ever had a stranger help you out when parenting in public? Please share your stories and thoughts in the comment section below!
I’m Linking With
AMEN. I have a list as long as my arm of random strangers I would love to thank for their small acts of kindness during a nightmare outing with my kids. They really have no idea how much of an impact their words and actions have on a flustered and embarrassed mother, so they? Wonderful humans.
YES! Thank you so much for your comment!
Love, love, love! 🙂 The kindness of strangers is a beautiful thing and as moms we really need it sometimes! I loved this story so much and hope you have the chance to repay that sweet man’s kindness someday. So cool! 🙂
It really is a beautiful thing! Thanks for reading as always Erin 😀
Great post! Just had an experience not too long ago where I had to go to the doctor’s office. I couldn’t get anyone to watch my children who are also the age of yours. I said never again lol will I take them with me. My daughter kept reaching for me because she wanted to sit on the table with me. She also kept taking her socks and shoes off. It is so much easier when someone kindly helps. The doctor just worked around her with no problem. I definitely always try to help a mom out if I can because we’ve all been there.
AW Lori, I have totally been there! People in public generally are pretty great – I think our kids behaviours affect us as moms more than the people around us. No one wants to have their kids behave improperly in public!
Strangers can help so much. My daughter threw a fit a MOPS once because she couldn’t get her gloves on. Well, I started to lose my patience and that’s when a MOPS leader came over and calmly helped her. I really appreciated that.
Hey we have a MOPS here too! Such a great resource for moms 🙂 I don’t get to attend it much now that I’m back at work, but still love it! Thanks for sharing your story 🙂
It’s amazing how the simplest gestures from others can make life so much easier. How sweet of that man to entertain your daughter! It makes my heart smile to know that there really are genuinely nice people out in the world.
Yes! He truly was my knight in shining armour! I was exhausted by the time we left, but we survived relatively unscathed thanks to him 🙂
I love this. I dread so much taking my kids anywhere. It never goes well. I can think of so many times that kind word or gesture made all the difference.
I was so frazzled at the doctor’s office when my 18month old was losing it and my doctor looked me straight in the eye and said “you know this is normal right? This is age appropriate behavior for being hot and tired from a long wait. You are a good mom and it’s normal.” I bawled my face off but it was #truth.
Jenn, thank you so much for your comment! Parenting in public is not for the faint-hearted! Your doctor’s comment made my day – there needs to be more of this #truth being openly talked about so we don’t feel like we are going through it alone.
God yes, we’ve all been there and when that moment comes, you really do feel like all eyes are upon you. The kindness of strangers is so well received at times like this and it sounds like your photo-taking stranger was sent for just this reason. And you feel like you want to hug them for saving the moment which often feels like hours and as though your head is about to come off. Well done for getting through #kcacols
It sounds like you’ve have a similar experience…Perhaps more than once? 😀 Yes my saviour with a ponytail will not be forgotten any time soon!
Great post and lovely advice. And love it when you find kindness where you least expect it #KCACOLS
Nadia – ScandiMummy
Thanks Nadia! Yes, it was such a relief to have someone in my corner 🙂
Oh dear! But what a lovely, thoughtful man. It happens to everyone – I wait until the very optimum moment, such as when we are at the checkout, before having an epic screaming fit 😉 #KCACOLS
Lol! Their timing is impeccable, isn’t it? Thanks for reading and linking up with #KCACOLS 🙂
I hate it when my kids do this, and they know I do to, so they do it more to try and get what they want. I hate it even more when people look and judge you #KCACOLS
Definitely. Judgement not necessary, people! We already feel embarrassed enough when our kids have thrown themselves on the floor 😉
A little kindness really does go a long way, it is little things that really make a difference too #KCACOLS.
Definitely 🙂 Thanks for coming by Fiona!
I would like to think it is a common thing for strangers to behave like this. Children are a blessing, however I can totally see how Mum’s can feel pressured and stressed, a strangers random and quirky help is always a good thing, lets hope its a majority thing rather than a minority.
Amanda. #kcacols
Yes I agree! In public there are not many kid-friendly venues out there, even though most adults have children eventually. Doesn’t make much sense to me!
My son is yet to throw a tantrum in public. The most he’s done is lay down on the floor when he doesn’t want to walk anymore! Hahaha! #KCACOLS
I do that sometimes too! 😉 Thanks for coming by!
Great story. I only have one and she’s blessedly never thrown a public tantrum, but gets bored easily and like to talk. More than once I’ve been grateful for a stranger that is willing to listen to her #KCACOLS
Thanks Jeremy! We really can’t blame kids for getting bored waiting in lines… We all hate them!
I LOVE this post! It’s soooo very true!
My 1-year-old LOVES grabbing random items at the grocery store and throwing them into the cart. To help remedy this, we’ll usually give him something we’re already planning on buying for him to play with during our shopping trip. Sometime, between when we hand it to him, and when it’s time to check out, he becomes completely attached to said item. THANK YOU to the kind checkout lady who gingerly twisted and maneuvered the slobber covered package of cheese to find the barcode to scan, rather than taking it from him-even for a second! #KCACOLS
What a kind man! Too many people judge our kids if they act up as if it never happened to them…but I bet it did. #kcacols
Oh this is such a beautiful post – really heartwarming – there are wonderfully kind people out there – restores faith! Just to show a mum who is obviously not having the best moment that there is help out there – so lovely to show kindness – it is so much easier for others to help when they can then walk away from the situation 10 minutes later but feels like an eternity of help to the mother – I really enjoyed reading this #KCACOL
Ohh I felt for you reading this, my boy has meltdowns in public all the time. It is so much easier to cope when someone offers a smile instead of a scowl. I’ve had strangers help out before and it really does help so much. Ponytail man sounds awesome xx #KCACOLS
So true! Kindness doesn’t cost a thing. #KCACOLS
Love this! Parenting is definitely not easy especially when they do this to us! But the kindness of a stranger in such a circumstance is invaluable it means so much! Thanks for sharing xx #KCACOLS
A small amount of kindness really does go a long way doesn’t it? My family don’t live that close, so my children have to come with me most of the time unfortunately – sometimes you never know what is going to set them off! #kcacols
Been there! Parenting can be such a challenge when our kids do this. A little kindness really does go a long way.
#KCACOLS
I love your writing style. My daughter is 11 weeks old so I’m yet to experience this yet! There are some lovely people out there in the world xx
#KCACOLS
What a lovely post, it’s amazing how great it feels when someone helps, especially when you think they are about to tut or sigh at you! Thanks for sharing on #KCACOLS xx
Ah, this is so true. there is nothing more embarrassing than a meltdown (either your own or your child’s in public). Kids have a weird way of behaving for strangers or turning into little angels when spoken to by someone who they have never met before. You cannot underestimate the power of strangers (under the beady and goggle eye of Mummy of course). Pen x #KCACOLS
We’re really lucky. Our (autistic) 2yo is quite calm in public. The only time he ever gets really grumpy is when he’s over tired. The kindness of strangers is great, but I always remember to keep the kindness moving on. Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS
Ah what a lovely chap. Appointments with kids can be a nightmare. Mine are both at school now so I schedule for those times & go child free woo hoo!!! #kcacols lifeinthemumslane
Isn’t it great how someone being kind instead of judging can make such a difference? It always amazes me that most people, who were probably parents of young children once, seem to very quickly forget how difficult it can be sometimes, or deem them selves to have been the ‘perfect’ parent – who let’s face it, doesn’t actually exist! #KCACOLS
Oh this is such a lovely post. I always think it doesnt take much to be kind but it really has the power to change someone’s day just like your post has proven. 🙂 #KCACOLS
I’m with you on this! I don’t have any help with childcare so Arthur literally comes everywhere with me and at 15 months we’ve had a few terrible twos moments that have snuck their way into our lives early! I recently had to travel to London for a beauty and skincare campaign for and really worried about the train journey with Arthur….our train home was delayed which meant it took 5 hours stuck on the train to get home (at 11pm) with an overtired toddler who wouldn’t sleep….luckily all of the people stood around near our seat on the crowded train were really lovely and did what they could to keep him distracted or entertained when he started to get restless! Understanding people definitely make parenting in public much easier #KCACOLS
Oh what a nice man! We should all do that for each other. Sometimes kiddies just get fed up of being out. It’s great that you had some surprise help that day. #kcacols x
I am dreading the public meltdown. I work in a pharmacy and we always engage with the kids who come in with their parents because we know it’s hard for both them and the kids. #KCACOLS
This is great! We’re all in the same boat, so we should be ready to help a fellow parent I’m crisis, even if it’s just to give them a smile to let them know that you know what it’s like. #KCACOLS
That’s great. We have two autistic boys, 7 and 5 and a three year old girl. It can be a drama just picking the kids up from school (they have different schools due to their different needs) and the slightest thing can set them off. Only grandparents can watch for appointments and no other mums can help because the boys are autistic. One day the middle one had Difficulty because as we passed the door to the school reception he remembered it was the way to the headmasters office where there was a train set. It was complete collapse as I stood trying to hold it all together and just make it back to the car. A passer by offered to push or daughter on the buggy and I nearly cried. That would be great I said! Complete hero #KCACOLS
I love this! I take my daughter along to most appointments and stuff, and most of the time she’s really good. But then there will be the day where she just screams and cries and seems hell bent on destruction. A few times someone has come over and distracted her with something, and it means so much just to have those few moments to calm down and start again! x #KCACOLS
What a fantastic story! I’ve been at work before when a lady brought in her 3 year old who got increasingly loud and fed up – I work somewhere where it needs to be quiet so it gets a bit awkward when others give them the ‘eye’. I keep a toy catalogue in my drawer and got down on the floor with her and asked her to show me all her favourite toys, it was enough to grab her interest. I always feel a bit sorry when kids have to hang around in my workplace as at that age it truly is boring x #kcacols
Absolutely!! Trying to cope with any kind of meltdown in public is bad enough without experiencing disdainful stares from other people! Those small acts of kindness go a long way and are never forgotten! X #KCACOLS
Now my daughter is 2.5 and well into her tantrum years (I swear she started early. She’s so advanced haha) I no longer feel that burning sense of shame, such is it a commonplace occurrence to have her wailing and pummelling the floor in public, but in those early days I just wanted the floor to swallow me up occasion. Even a nice smile and a ‘oh, I remember those days well’ made me feel better.
#KCACOLS
Oh, this is good. It’s made me think. It’s not just your family, friends and neighbours who help you survive those cripplingly raw first few months, you’re right. It’s the strangers … the man on the train who gave me his seat without a word when NC was screaming for the entire journey to London. The veg seller who told me about a drug I hadn’t tried for reflux. We all need those heroes. I’m glad you came across some. #KCACOLS
Yes, we’ve all been there to some degree and it’s so true that the smallests act of kindness goes such a long way to helping us out in our times of need! hurray to the man with the ponytail and all the others too. Consider this shared because you’re right, parenting is tough enough already! 😉 #kcacols
I completely agree these people are our heroes! I love them, and sometimes find it a bit awkward when they do offer to help. You must have been so grateful for that, I can imagine the minutes before felt like an eternity with you wishing to run out the door! I haven’t had many of these moments, but I think I’ve got a lot to come once our 9 month old reaches that stage. Thanks for co-hosting a fab linky. Claire x #KCACOLS
Oh I love this, I’m so glad I stopped by! I actually found myself welling up a little reading this, I can identify so strongly! I have a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old, and am really struggling with the tantrums at the moment, from both of them. It’s such a relief when people just send a smile or a nice “we’ve all been there”-type comment in my direction when I’m trying not to lose my shit at my kids losing their shit!
#KCACOLS
Aww what a great post! Its awful when your child starts to act up in public, its like Mia saves it all up for the one moment I really need her to behave herself and then goes to town! It was so nice of that man to help you out, it only takes a small act of kindness to make a bad day, a great day! 🙂
#KCACOLS
Thank you for this post. I think we have all faced this at one time or another. I am quite thankful that those days are over for me. Although I do have the teenage years coming up which could mean a whole new breed of tantrum lol.
#KCACOLS
Those are some lovely random acts of kindness! Distraction is a good technique for defusing toddler time bombs and even better when someone else takes the hit for you!
On a packed commuter train with a touchy / grabby daughter I had to take on the role of human scratching post to keep her busy and stop trying to rampage around the gaps in the carriage. Not many offered to take my place as doing so would break first rule of Commuter Club!
#KCACOLS
It’s great when strangers show kindness. I’ve had a fe moments with my daughter in the past and reading your post brought back a few memories. thanks for co-hosting!
Angela via #KCACOLS
I really loved this article! What a lovely man! I’ve experienced a public meltdown of my usually mild mannered daughter when she was about 3. It was in a supermarket and she spied a family pack of Murray mints at the checkout (why do they put sweets there!!!!) and wanted them. I said no and it wasn’t pretty! But you have to stick to your guns and let your ‘no’ be ‘no’! She threw herself on the ground and everyone was looking at this shrieking banshee! Some looked sympathetic, some looked horrified, I could sense some were mentally tutting if not verbally. I wanted to say ‘she’s a lovely child,really!’ And ‘I am a good mother, honestly!’…thankfully a lovely lady came over and offered to help push my trolley to the car so I could pick up the writhing banshee that was my child! She was so kind and said she had ‘been there herself’ and ‘knew what it was like’…I could have wept with gratitude!! Great post. #KCACOLS
What a lovely man to entertain your daughter like that. Strangers can be so nice when you least expect. I’ve no stories to share as I have one 9 month old who is fairly easy going at the moment. We shall see what the future holds! #kcacols
I think your two are amazing for lasting the 15mins..my five year old would be eating wallpaper at 3mins…I dread the public meltdowns, I get that flushed feeling too. My son lay on the floor screaming once because he wanted sweets and I said no as he had had an ice cream about 5 minutes before, I waited in the que with him grumping besides me after getting down to his level and kindly and patiently told him why he couldnt have them today. The lady behind me not so quietly said what a horrible mother not letting her child have those small bag of sweeties. I cried when I got home! So I always, when a mum looks like she is having a hard time give an encouraging smile or play peek a boo with there kids. Fab post thank you #KCACOLS
What a great post! There must be something in the air here (like crazy woman hormones) as i spontaneously shed a tear when I read the piece about your aunt when you were breastfeeding. I think this is a great thank you message to those you’ve come in contact with. Here’s to you too *clap* x
mainy – myrealfairy
#KCACOLS
Great post! It’s great when strangers lend a helping hand instead of judging. We had a similar situation around Christmas when I decided to be supermum and take my toddler in to Central London on the tube, by myself, to see Santa Clause …what was I thinking! He had a total melt down on the train, but there was this lovely gentleman sitting opposite us who calmed him by playing peek a boo from behind his newspaper, I literally couldn’t thank him enough x #KCACOLS
Such a great ending to a standard day out with the small ones story! And amazing advice to Moms and strangers. There are many people out there who aren’t judging and a few who will step up and lend a hand! I loved this post. #KCACOLS
Thanks so much for reading Allyson!
God bless the random strangers who lend a kind helping hand. It restores your faith in people foes the it. We haven’t had a full blow public meltdown (plenty in the home) yet, but we are just entering the toddler phase so I am sure my time is coming. #KCACOLS xx
It is amaxing how kind some people are and a rea saviour in grace. I have had a few experiences when had a bad time and it really makes the difference X #kcacols
What a lovely stranger! I totally agree, its makes such a difference when you arent meant with judging looks and glances when you are having a situation with your little ones. A strangers kindess like the type you experienced really is worth more than anything to parents, especially new ones 🙂 Lovely post. Emily #KCACOLS
A little bit of kindness goes a long way especially on a frazzled day. I find other mums often give you a sympathetic look that makes you feel better when baby is playing up! Great post! #KCACOLS
Aww what a lovely thing to do. I also have an autistic son and so am definitely on board with your sentiment. You never know the story behind things or how your words might affect people. Always be kind. #KCACOLS
My two are 21 months and just turned 3 the other day, and we have no family near by, so I do have to take them to absolutely everything! They’re pretty good, but it can be a bit of a nightmare, nonetheless! You’re right, there are some great strangers around who are so lovely to little children when you’re out & about. My eldest, who is very sociable, is particularly taken with anyone who wants to chat with her (youngest is a bit shy). #KCACOLS
Aaaàh isn’t it just wonderful how a random act of kindness can turn someone’s day right around! Great post hon with such an important message behind it.xx #KCACOLS
My daughter is pretty difficult in public, especially if it doesn’t involve slush puppies or ice cream and she just can not sit still! I try so hard to make any urgent appointments during school hours now so I can be in and out but sometimes thats not just what life wants to do! What a kind person to help you though. 🙂 #kcacols
I love this post – we all need heroes from time to time! We’re going through a stage with my eldest where we have hourly meltdowns when we go anywhere. we haven’t had anyone intervene as such but we have had s lot of knowing smiles while she’s been flapping around on the pavement 🙂 #KCACOLS
This is such a fab post and I’m sure it’s one every mum will relate to. I can’t begin to count the number of times that complete strangers have ‘saved my day’ by distracting Taylor when I’ve completely run out of options. It seems that sometimes they just love a new face! I admit that before having children I wasn’t one to offer my help as I didn’t understand, but it really does make the world of difference. x #KCACOLS
I love this post. As it is just me and Olivia I find she ends up going most places with me but now she is older I find it easier especially as she puts on the charm to make everyone love her! Attention seeker much lol! It’s been lovely co hosting with you this week Tori and I love your blog I’ll be back again soon xx
Parenting isn’t easy and doing it in public add an immense amount of pressure if our toddler terrorists are having a meltdown. There are kind people that don’t judge or stare and can sometimes diffuse the situation. I’ve always found if a stranger ever speaks to my whining babes they turn silent immidiately and we all high five. I bet you could have hugged that kind man and I hope you managed to get your phone fixed #kcacols
Such a lovely post 🙂 i haven’t had help before when i’m out even though i could have accepted it gratefully in the past! #KCACOLS
Yay for heroes, their kindness and bravery make the world a better place, especially for the parents on the receiving end! It’s not easy to be a hero in this kind of situation, when you don’t know the child or the parent, you never know how they’re going to react. What if you end up making the situation even worse and come out looking like a villain instead of a hero? This is the fault of our modern alienated society, I suppose. But real heroes are willing to risk all this just to help out, which is what really makes them heroic! #KCACOLS
What a lovely man! There are some absolute diamonds out there! And more often than not, people you really don’t expect. Sorry, I’m a bit late commenting on last weeks #KCACOLS xx
This was wonderful. I really liked this as I am venturing the outside world a lot more than I have and being in public with my child absolutely terrifies me. Babe has never been all that bad and the bad bits I have managed to wrangle, but I still have the horrible feeling its all going to to pot one day. It’s nice to know that random acts of kindness by strangers are there and waiting for when those moments do end up happening. Lovely post! #KCACOLS (albeit terribly late i wanted to make sure to get to this eventually!)