An Experienced Lactation Consultant
I have had an opportunity to shadow a Lactation Consultant as a practical component of becoming trained in the Baby Friendly Initiative. This Lactation Consultant has had years and years of various public health experience working with new moms. I was completely in awe of how effective her communication style was. As soon as I stepped into her office, I was overwhelmed with the need to tell her everything about me, and I wasn’t even her patient! It all came up like word vomit: What I had for dinner last night, how my toddler refuses to sleep through the night, and my own experiences breastfeeding my children.
If you have a question, she has the answer.
An Experienced Mom
When a mom came in, she began by discussing her plans for child care and feeding options when she returned to work – typical concerns that many moms face when transitioning back into the workforce. She was worried that her son wouldn’t take milk from a bottle, but he would from an open-faced cup. She didn’t want to start formula but was unsure if she would be able to pump enough milk for when she was away. She stated that her baby was doing well with solid foods. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue breastfeeding past the year mark but wondered if her baby may want to continue.
It all sounded brutally familiar.
All while listening to this mom relay her monumental life transition, the Lactation Consultant sat patiently, nodding her head from time to time, her gaze constantly on the mom. She was the picture of inner peace.
Meanwhile, I was literally vibrating in my seat, using all my willpower to refrain from interjecting. There were at least ten instances during the mom’s conversation that I would have came in with my highly relatable, while very personal stories about how my own children experienced that phase of our life.
An Experienced Baby
Thankfully I was able to keep my composure. We listened, until the mom said, almost to herself, “Well, he won’t take a bottle but he’ll take it from the cup so that’s pretty good, right? I can just silagra buy online give him some Homo milk from a cup? And if I nurse him before and after work, he’ll probably be OK eating his solid foods during the day. How much milk will he need to drink while I’m gone, then? I guess he’ll just drink until he isn’t thirsty any more…Right?”
The mom had just answered her own questions herself! While initially I was in awe of this Lactation Consultants apparent voo-doo magic, after a good head shake I realized that wasn’t it at all.
Baby had just been showing mom all of the signs that he was ready for transitioning straight to a cup, and all the mom needed was a bit of reassurance that she was indeed reading her baby’s signals correctly.
This mom would now be able to sleep tonight and breathe easier, all because this kind, caring health professional took the time to listen instead of immediately trying to diagnose and solve her problem.
The Most Valuable Lesson I Have Ever Learned
I was completely dumbfounded. While all breastfeeding issues are not this simple, when looking back on my past parenting practices I feel like many of my own children’s cues could have easily been missed because I was focusing too hard on what “normal” is.
How many naps should my toddler have? How many ounces of milk must he drink? When should he be out of his crib by? When does he have to stop using a soother?
I began to wonder whether these are all questions that we need to stop looking for answers in books. Instead, maybe we should try following what our kids actions are telling us, and trusting our own judgements.
Before I left, the Lactation Consultant apologised for not having a mom come in who required hands-on breastfeeding assistance.
I didn’t say much at the time, but I really wish I had told her the truth: She had taught me one of the most valuable lessons that I have ever learned, which I will include in my practice for years to come.
So, to all those moms out there wondering if they are doing it right, I have just one word for you.
Yes.
You are so right. I remember when I was nursing my daughter she was cranky a lot. I couldn’t figure out why. The experts told me to nurse every 2 hours so that’s what did. Well my baby didn’t like that she wanted to nurse more often. I wish had clued in on that sooner!
Loved this post because how true it is that we can learn what we need to do just by following the baby’s lead. Sometimes we just have to talk out our issues to realize we knew the answer all along.
It is hard when you are a parent for the first time through into the unknown. You question everything and dealt it all. I listened to my second more so as I was more confidence and do believe that baby’s give you cues to what they want X #kcacols
This is one of the reasons I stopped reading parenting books. I got so worked up when my own kids weren’t following what the books said. But there are a ton of different kinds of children, and there’s no one size fits all solution that works for them all.
Ah what a fantastic post! Thanks so much for sharing on #kcacols I think you’re absolutely right- our instincts will let us know what we’re doing if we let them! X
This is so true. Sometimes when I google those odd parenting questions, I wonder why I’m doing that because I already know the answer. Sometimes it’s nice to have a little extra reassurance. This is such an amazing experience you had! How awesome it must have been to Lear from her! ?
I never bothered with any of those advice books, i just went with the flow. He seems reasonably well adjusted…?? Thank you for linking with #KCACOLS and hope to see you again next week.
I pretty much did what I felt was right from the get go for both myself and my boy. I found the midwives and health visitors, apart from one, to be really pushy and judgy which I didn’t like at all. I’m so glad you learnt from her and practice it yourself, it would’ve been great if one of the nurses I came in contact with did the same x #KCACOLS
Love this. Sometimes it just takes a listening ear.
Yes it does! Sometimes that’s a difficult thing to do as a nurse as we typically love to try to fix people. Thanks for coming by.
Such a lovely story! This is what I try to remember whenever I get too hung up on a problem. I’m a big reader, and I don’t think applying that to my parenting has done me any favours – it’s just ended up being a cause of anxiety. #KCACOLS
I agree Katy! I think we all need to take parenting advice with a grain of salt because every child is so immensely different.
I think more often than not I am seeking reassurance rather than actual advice. Sometimes I just want to hear that I am not the only one dealing with something. More often than not my instinct is right and the one I follow but it can be so wonderful to talk to my Mom or my best friend when I am not certain if for no other reason than they understand and are able to let me vocalize and work things out that way. #KCACOLS
Definitely Allyson. It’s nice to have a sounding board for sure to make sure we’re not off-base. I was so happy that this mom felt comfortable reaching out to her health professional for that support.
I absolutely LOVE this! How incredible of the lactation consultant to allow the mom to work through things-sometimes all we need is a little reassurance. I’m so tired of moms hearing that they should “try this” or “do it this way.” All kids are different, and sometimes we just need to hear we’re doing okay! Thank you for such a wonderfully encouraging post <3 #KCACOLS