The Shift Working Mom
I have recently returned to the work force after spending the year caring for my newborn son and three year old daughter. I am a shift working mom and have a hate-hate relationship with child-care.
I love my job, my co-workers, the patients and their families, as well as the sense of accomplishment and the compensation my position provides. However, working in the hospital inevitably means working a 12 hour schedule with a mix of days and nights.
Basically, a child care providers worst nightmare.
Thankfully our parents live nearby and are willing to take their grandchildren for entire days and overnighters. We try not to burden them too much with care giving obligations, as we know that they have their own goals and aspirations now that they are retired. I am forever thankful for their help because without it I would have had to put my career on hold.
I am hoping to start a temporary full-time position this summer, which has its pros and cons. As a shift working mom, I needed to find a quality child care provider with extended hours.
The Child Care Conundrum
It would be an understatement to say that we have struggled to find consistent child care that works with our schedules, ever since our first child was born:
- Both daycares we started reduced their hours. The other one has a waiting list.
- There are no options for infants under the age of 16 months, especially for the hours we need.
- Home daycares are full or are only open 7-5.
While I can’t fault a child care provider for wanting their evenings to spend with their family, I have to ask myself: What does everyone else do? I can’t be the only shift working mom out there with this problem!
It is as simple as this:
- Most nurses are shift workers.
- Nursing is still a female dominated profession.
- Women have babies.
- Women are frequently the ones to arrange child care and sacrifice their jobs if there are conflicts.
Why, as a shift working mom, do I have to have this child care conundrum? Why aren’t there more supports available to families like mine, so that women can stay in the profession that they chose before having kids?
There Are More of Us Than We Know
While I can understand why I’m having so much trouble in a small town, another nurse I know who lives in a large city centre (with two, well-established hospitals) also struggles with child care. The only child care with extended hours on her side of the city recently closed down, so she now has to drive the opposite direction from the hospital where she works to drop her daughter off. This more than doubles her commute time.
In addition, because overnight child care is next to impossible, she drives an hour and half to drop her daughter off at grandma’s house in between her day and night shift rotation, and her daughter stays there for the following two days. While she is very appreciative of this bonding time with grandma, no mom in her right mind would envy her position.
I am positive that she is not alone in her daily struggle to have her child cared for so that she can look after other people’s family members in the ICU.
We Have Rights
In the 2010 human rights case Johnstone vs Canada, a ground-breaking decision was made buy kamagra in the us that Canadian employers must trying to accommodate parents trying to balance work with family life. Fiona Johnstone, had asked her employer, the Canada Border Services Agency (CBSA) for a change in her schedule to help with her care-giving responsibilities. She was quickly denied any accommodation. She then filed a discrimination complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission, and won her case.
…it is difficult to have regard to family without giving thought to children in the family and the relationship between parents and children. The singular most important aspect of that relationship is the parents’ care for children. It seems to me that if Parliament intended to exclude parental childcare obligations, it would have chosen language that clearly said so.
Honourable Mr. Justice Mandamin, dismissing the Attorney General’s application for judicial review in Canada v. Johnstone, January 31, 2013
According to an article about this case by The Star, Fiona had stated, “The ruling is important to me and other families who will be increasingly faced by this in the workplace,” since for more than two-thirds of Canadian families with young children, both parents work outside the home. In this day and age with raised living expenses and a hold on wage increases, having one parent stay home is more of a dream than a possibility.
This ruling proves that our rights as both employees and parents continue past employer’s requirements during maternity leave. We as parents, should be accommodated by employers when the care of your child and your work schedule does not mix.
What Can We Do About It?
This is always the most difficult but also most important question to answer. What can I do as a shift working mom to fix my child care conundrum?
If you live in a large urban centre and work in a position that has many young families and shift workers, you could try to round up other parents that are having difficulty finding child care. Once you get enough people on board, approach your management to see if there could be a potential solution, such a contract with a nearby child care provider or to start one up in-house.
Regardless of where you live, bring this up with your local government, whether through an email, letter or at a public forum. In Alberta, parents can receive up to $100/month in an extended hours child care subsidy. The more we talk about our extended child care needs with our own government, the more likely we will be heard.
Know another shift working mom in your area? Work together. Find a friend that works opposite to your schedule, and take turns minding each others children. You could save a lot of money this way and your kids will love having a new playmate.
If no other option works for you and you’re thinking of quitting or reducing your work week, ask your employer to help you find a solution. If they don’t want to hear you out… Well, perhaps they need to be reminded about your rights enforced by the Canadian Human Rights Commission.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best!
xo, The Mama Nurse
Are you a shift working mom having a child care conundrum? Do you have a solution or live in an area that has supports available for the shift working mom? Please share your story, thoughts and suggestions in the comment section below!
Brilliant post Tori! Finding adequate child care that fits our schedules and needs should NOT be so hard!! Looking forward to sharing this on my blog tomorrow as well 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this post, Julie! So honoured to be a part of your Nanny Series!
I think a lot of us have had to weigh this…going back to work and childcare costs vs staying home and taking care of the kids ourselves. I felt like Australia took better care of families than the US did (having lived in both places), but we didn’t qualify for benefits in Australia because we weren’t residents.
So true Lana! Sorry to hear you don’t qualify for benefits in Australia. I hope that someday, finding reasonable, quality child care won’t be so hard to find!
I’m actually a nurse who would love to open my own in home childcare for nurses who work 12 hour shifts. Any idea on how to get started?
Wow, that is crazy! I’m really upset on your behalf. I don’t understand daycare business hours. How does that work for any parent, much less those working overnight. I’m so glad you have family close by that can help.
Thanks Samantha! I think a lot of moms have to deal with this issue. Having family close by makes the world of difference. I know a lot of moms that are all alone and I don’t know how they do it without family support!
I know so many moms who are nurses that struggle with this. I work on an 8hr unit which is good and bad I guess. Now that I have 3 kids childcare, especially since I don’t need full time because of all the weekends, is SO expensive. I lucked out and got a small evening line so that my mom can cover the gap between me leaving and my husband getting home. It’s hard to miss so many dinner’s and bedtimes but what I save in childcare makes it possible for me to work less.
I totally lucked out though because very small, part time, permanent lines are incredibly hard to come by in my region. I’m holding onto it for dear life! I have so much anxiety over childcare.
Wow, 3 in child care! Even with the 8 hour shifts, I don’t envy you! So glad the evenings are working for you though. I currently have a permanent part-time line which is fantastic, but I just couldn’t pass up a FT. Too tempting!
I honestly feel for parents that have to work shift hours. My dream is to open my own child care facility and I really want to provide late hours or even 24 hour care for families. Back home we had a chain of daycares that were open 24 hours. The parents were so grateful for that facility.
Wow! A 24 hour facility would be amazing! Please let me know how your aspirations pan out. I’m rooting for you!
We never had family where we lived back in the day we needed childcare but I’ll forever remember the stress of finding childcare. I worked nights to face off with my husband. For overlap times I paid more than the market average to obtain & maintain childcare-post at high schools, colleges,churches etc. When our kids were very young I paid for childcare person to come to my house while I slept as I’d be right there if need be and lessen stress of worrying about child abuse, etc
Aw, Susan it is so hard as a mom to trust someone to take care of your children! When you don’t have family available or a registered child care provider, it makes things much more difficult! Glad you found a way to make ends meet.
It really is such a dilemma! I think daycare centers with non traditional hours would be so wonderful, not just for healthcare workers but other industries as well like retail! All of the nurses I know are lucky enough to have local family available to help.
I agree, Erin! The more options out there, the better!
Great post! The childcare struggle is real!I really hope it works out for you! #KCACOLS
Definitely! Thanks so much 🙂
This must be so difficult. I think it’s hard enough to balance childcare with work, without the added difficulties posed by shift work. Brilliant advice on what people faced with this problem can do – hope the situation improves. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
Thanks so much for reading!
This is such an important issue to raise! My other half works irregular hours and so I definitely understand the challenges. I work regular hours and we rely on grandparents as well to fill in the gaps when we need to. But it is the same situation here. There has been a call for more childcare centres to have extended hours but will there be? I don’t know. There definitely should be more extended and flexible care.
Yes there should be! We all know what it comes down to though… Money 🙁
Forgot to add coming from #KCACOLS
We totally feel you here! Both my husband and I are NHS nurses and although we love our NICU jobs the hours are horrendous. We don’t have family close enough to help out and no childcare, other than a nanny (no one can afford that on an NHS wage), could cover our hours. Our only solution is to work our shifts around each other – a logistical nightmare!
Aw man, the struggle is real! Nanny’s are also super hard to come by, unless you have a room for them to stay in – we definitely don’t! Very expensive as well. I hear you about working opposite to your partner – my husband and I haven’t been off at the same time in over a month! I hope your situation gets easier for you 🙁
Childcare really needs a big overhaul to make it work for parents – especially those who don’t have grandparents to fall back on.
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday x
Yes! We are so lucky to have grandparents willing to help out – unfortunately we are the exception not the rule!
You know, until reading this post I’ve never thought about what a struggle childcare and shift work must be! I don’t work shifts and I’m a teacher so my day usually fits with childcare easily. It just be incredibly stressful trying to sort it, relying on others and ferrying the kids about all the time. #KCACOLS
Well, I’m glad that my post provided some insight into the childcare conundrum shift workers face. However, I also can understand your struggle as well. Shuttling kids around 5 days a week would be extremely expensive and exhausting! I feel for you!
I always wonder what people who work shifts do! I know my childminder accommodates shift workers and will do nights if needs be but they are few and far between #KCACOLS
Yes, that option is few and far between! Everyone seems to have a different way to deal with child care, but I also know a lot of moms that ended up having to switch to a 9-5 job or put their career on hold because finding childcare was too much of a struggle. Really unfortunate 🙁
What a well written post on a very important topic, one not enough people are talking about! Finding childcare if you work second shift, or heaven forbid 3rd shift is impossible. If you don’t have family who can cover you, it seems you are stuck! Good luck in your hunt, maybe you are starting a Mom-revolution! #KCACOLS
Thanks Allyson! I really hope things turn around for us shift-working moms!
Hi all,
Sounds like you need a nanny share set up. Find a qualified nanny, that is willing to cover full 12-14 hour shifts, at your home. Then find a friend from work, that works the same shifts, get the kiddos together and share the cost of the nanny. Keep in mind, you’ll have to pay more monthly for the nanny, do to the nature of overnights and shift work, but splitting the costs makes it manageable for parents, and great fun for the kids. I am a nanny in Ontario, and offering this service has certainly worked for me and the families I care for 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment Hannah! I have heard of people doing this but didn’t realise it would be a possibility so close to home. It’s a little trickier for me in a rural area, but for parents in a larger centre this would work fantastic!
I totally agree with you. It’s crucial that you do preliminary research and ask for recommendations before choosing what childcare option is right for you and your family. It’s definitely a red flag if the staff at a childcare center or program are rough and impatient with children. You want to feel confident that your children are safe with the people you choose to leave them with, so it’s important to observe these things before. Thanks so much for sharing your input and advice!
As being a working mom is not an easy task to take care of your child. I am very happy for you that you have managed all the thing altogether and living a happy and wonderful life with your child.
If you’re considering a center, find out how long the current caregivers have been working there and how much turnover the center usually experiences.
Really informative. What is a few expenses for the welfare of your child right? Always get the best child care for your own peace of mind.
My husband and I are both shift workers and today was my first day back at work after my maternity leave for my second son. We have been struggling to find someone to look after our two kids in our home because nobody wants to do 12 hour shifts and overnights. We have been looking for a nanny for MONTHS with no luck, which leaves me in a total state of panic. We both have parents that live far from us and that are still in the workforce so relying on them isn’t an option. It’s so incredibly stressful to not have someone to care for our kids and to not even have any options available. I honestly feel like this whole situation is designed to force women out of the workforce which is really upsetting.
If you’re considering a center, find out how long the current caregivers have been working there and how much turnover the center usually experiences.
Until your baby can talk, you will be relying on what the caregiver tells you about your child’s day. Make sure you can communicate comfortably with each other. When you first hand off your child in the morning, you should tell the caregiver how your little one slept the night before, if he is teething, and whether he ate breakfast.
Thanks you very much.
This is such an imperative issue to raise! My other half works sporadic hours thus I certainly comprehend the difficulties. I work ordinary hours and we depend on grandparents also to fill in the holes when we have to. In any case, it is a similar circumstance here. There has been a call for more childcare focuses to have expanded hours however will there be? I don’t have the foggiest idea. There certainly should be increasingly expanded and adaptable consideration.
I am a mother of one child working day/nights 12h shifts. I am being forced to stay in an abusive relationship just because I cannot find a childcare option that works for me. Recently i took some really hard decisions which were long due of deciding to separate from my addict husband. The stress levels have never been this high not even when he was beating me up. The reason being I fear every moment of my life that my child is going to be taken away from me because of my inability of finding a care option that works for me and fits my pocket as well. The few options that offer extended hours are costing me the whole paycheque. I am an immigrant who has no family here in Canada and cannot have anyone over because of Pandemic to help in this stressful time. A lot of friends have turned their backs on me. My love for my daughter is the only thing that is giving me the strength to keep moving. It is so sad that in a developed country like Canada tbe issues of women are so neglected. There is little to no support offered to women who are working in female dominant professions. I am a RN, helping people everyday, with little to no help for myself and my child. If the institutions or governments could pay heed to the vows or working mothers a lot of abuse can be curbed. My husband used to tell me all the time try leaving me and you will see how fast you lose your child. That was his vantage point over me. I left him but that vantage point is becoming real everyday!