OK people! Regardless of how cuteย her belly is, becoming pregnant does not take away a woman’s right to privacy, personal space and respect. Once a pregnant belly becomes visible, strangers seem to flock from near and far to unite and invade her bubble, ask awkward personal questions and make rude comments. The following are things strangers should never, ever say to a pregnant woman. Listen up!
Are you having twins?
Though you may just be trying to poke some fun, this will probably seem like anย obscure wayย to tellย a pregnant woman you think they are huge. Not cool. Pregnancy changes a woman’s body in multiple ways and it
can be super hard to adjust to these changes.ย A comment suggesting thatย she looks as big as a house does not do much for the oldย self-esteem! Even if she is having twins, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be told she is gigantic. Just a hunch.
You’re STILL pregnant?! You have been pregnant for forever!
You don’t say? Although that pregnant woman will probably agree with you, she doesn’t need another memoย that she is still uncomfortably pregnant. It will be pretty obvious to her when she tries to tie her shoes, put pants on or when sheย has to goย pee for the fiftieth time today.
You must be having a boy! You’re carrying all behind.
I remember being told this multiple times, and all I could think was, “does this mean you think my ass is big?” Although most people are attempting to take a fun guess at your baby’s gender, commentsย related to aย pregnant woman’s body shape or weight isย off-limits. Simple as that.
Carrying a little water, huh?
Whether her belly is large because she is carrying extra amniotic fluid or she has swelling in her handsย and feet, she will be super uncomfortable andย won’t want to discuss it with a complete stranger. She alsoย is probably sufficiently self-conscious about her “kankles” already. Can’t we all just pretend they don’t exist (providing there is no medical concern).
You were married for a long time before having kids. Did you guys have trouble getting pregnant?
Unfortunately, infertility is becoming more and more prevalent and it causes a lot of added stress on a relationship. Discussing the times before conception could bring up a lot of strong negative feelings. Unless they bring it up themselves, this is frankly none of your business.
You look like a child yourself! Are you old enough to have kids?
Insert foot in mouth now. Looks can be deceiving when it comes to age. Also, if you are speaking to a soon to be young mother, don’t you think she already knows she is young? She has made a noble decision to see this pregnancy through and needs guidance and support, not judgemental comments.
Can I feel him kick?
No, you can back the H up. Having an adorable belly does not remove a woman’s right to have personal space. If you wouldn’t touch her belly when she isn’t pregnant, don’t bother asking to now. Doing so will ultimatelyย make you both endure a super awkward moment that you will both try to forget about.
Your otherย child looks so young. Someone must not have been very careful. Was this oneย planned?
None of your freaking business! Families have all sorts of reasons to have their kids within varying time frames, whether planned or not. Your curiosity does not give you carte blanche to judgeย a family’s decision to have more children or the spacing between them.
You’re having a hard time with this pregnancy? That’s too bad, I didn’t even notice when I was.
A pregnant woman who is obviously not enjoying herself will not want to hear about your miraculous pregnancy experience or how much you glowed. End of story.
I wore my pre-pregnancy pants home from the hospital.
While this is very impressive, this can be deceiving (your jeans or your stretchy yoga pants two sizes too big?) and put an unrealistic expectation on postpartum women. Sure, this can happen, but itย is an exception to the rule.ย Every woman experiences pregnancy and the year beyond differently. They don’t need to compare themselves to other’s and worry about their body image before they have even had their beautiful baby.
I have the worst labour and delivery story in the world. Do you want to hear it?
Though I believe that knowledge is power and pregnant women should do some research before going into labour, there is no need to scare the pants off of them with horror stories. Generally speaking, if you are making small talk in line at Walmart with a pregnant woman trying to buy breast pads, pleaseย spareย her fromย your gory labour stories.
Are you going to nurse? You do know that breast is best, right?
Give me a break. Let’s get this straight: Every woman in all of Western civilization knows that breastfeeding has itsย benefits. I am also positive that pregnant women know whetherย they are planning to nurse their baby after delivery or not, since most birth plans cover this topic. She doesn’t need your pep talk. Breastfeeding a baby is not as easy as it seems, and these comments from strangers add unneeded stress to a new mom’s alreadyย difficult journey. Save your preaching for church.
Did you get any stretch marks?
This is a very personal question and is usually laden with judgement. If a pregnant woman wantedย complete strangers to know all aboutย the changes her body has undergone during pregnancy, then she would walk around topless. You don’t see that too often, do you?
You’re so tiny! Are you sure your baby is big enough?
Though this questionย may beย an attempt at a compliment, chances are it will make her worry that herย baby is unhealthy. I was asked this questionย numerous timesย during my pregnancies, and let meย tell you my babiesย were definitely big enough. The size of a pregnant belly is not always a good indication of the size baby will be.
Oh! Two boys. Bet you’ll be trying for a girl next time! (Or any variation related to baby’s gender).
First of all, having one of each gender does not equal divine happiness and a reason to stop having children, nor a reason to have more if she has two of the same. Secondly,ย she is still pregnant with her current child and that’s probably all she wants to focus on for now. And I am 100% sure that she does not want to discuss her future plans with a complete stranger. She may have not evenย discussed these plans with her partner yet.
Have you been asked ridiculous questions or endured intrusiveย comments from strangers while pregnant? Do you have any advice for pregnant women on how to deal? Please share in the comment section below! Thanks for reading, Mamas!
Back the H up. Love this so feeaking much! I had so many rude comments, many from one coworker. Seriously people just mind your own business and leave the hormonal prego girl alone!
Love this! People said many of these things to me. I’m not sure why strangers think they can ask all of these super personal questions because you’re pregnant?!? It’s so strange… Sharing this one for sure! #KCACOLS
People are so rude, as if being pregnant makes you public property! I used to hate it when random people felt they could put a hand on my bump, and all the comments about size. Oh, and how I looked tired (what did people expect!?!) #KCACOLS
oh PEOPLE! I got the “you’re very smell, is everything ok?” thing. Drove me mad. And “oh, a girl! Are you going to try again for a boy?”
My other favourite was “Was it planned?” Always with “it” even when people knew she was a girl. I thought this was a really stupid question considering I’m gay… #KCACOLS
Small… not smell…
I was nodding along to all of these!!!! So true! I’ve sent it to a pregnant friend #KCACOLS
Lol! The whole asking to feel the bump! I don’t mind if its friends, but total strangers! Great observations #KCACOLS
So funny and so true. Other variants include should you be doing / eating that? I read something on the Internet that said blah, blah. Well, thanks for giving me something else to worry about!
Fab post and unfortunately I can relate to one or two of these! Some people are just either so insensitive or just dont think before they make comments like these. I try to rise above it, but its hard when you are pregnant and already dont feel your greatest and may be a little more sensitive to what people say and how they say it. Emily #KCACOLS
My eldest is 11 months and my youngest is 3 weeks. The amount of times people asked me if our second was planned was crazy. She was in fact planned! ?
#KCAOLS
Exactly! You never know what the parents plans are/were and as a stranger it frankly isn’t any of your business , lol.
Fantastic list that I am sure so many can relate to! I had my fair share of these, especially the ‘was this planned’. Admittedly, the second wasn’t and there is only an 11 month age gap but still it did start to grate. Great post. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you can come back again next Sunday xx
Love this post! It is so true and since I loved being prego (as we called it lol) I try to remind myself to control my questions when talking to the soon to be mom. I let her lead, and never ask to touch anything! Not even the baby, she will let you know if you are welcome.
I still get told I am 1. too young to have teens, or 2. yeah I look like a mom of teens. I wish they would make up their mind, am I young or old? Doesn’t matter I feel 3 times my age most days anyway! lol I had mine 22 months apart-on purpose! That’s right, I wanted them close to each other in age as possible, call me crazy ๐ Thanks for this great post! #KCACOLS
I know, right?! Everyone seems to have their own opinion, and they often don’t match up! So confusing ๐ Thanks for reading
Ugh you really took me back! So true, why is it the belly invites so much commentary and touching! I hated people feeling my belly uninvited! #KCACOLS
Lol! I agree!
Eurgh so true! Throughout my pregancy people said to me “your bump is so small, are you sure the baby’s growing ok?” followed by “your bump is high, it must be a boy”. My little bump was a girl and very healthy!! Brilliant list, made me smile ๐ #KCACOLS
Thanks so much for reading!
My husband and I went to the supermarket yesterday and we bought some flowers, which hubby was carrying. An old man walked past and took one look at me (36 weeks pregnant) and said, “A bit late for those flowers isn’t it?!” The cheek! #KCACOLS
Bahaha thanks so much for sharing!
I got pregnant with in a few months of having my second baby, and people presumed it was by accident. But it wasn’t we choose to have them close together. I wish people would just mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves #KCACOLS
Perfect list – I have no idea why people think any of these are acceptable things to say, but I did experience quite a few of them! The one which especially used to annoy me was when people would ask if I’d had morning sickness and then offer me advice about how they dealt with it – I was unrelentingly sick from 6 weeks through to 32 weeks, I think I’d tried everything by week 7 with zero impact! #KCACOLS
Ah, sorry to hear Katy! Hearing the same thing over and over can be just a “tad” annoying! ๐
Oh this list could go on. My four children are 19, 18, 16, and 15 – and people still ask me if when/if I’m trying for a girl. I wasn’t. I’m not. And holy freaking rude.
Also, don’t touch the mama unless she says you can. I actually punched a person I didn’t know in a grocery store because they walked up and touched my stomach while I was shopping… they didn’t even SAY anything, just went straight for my stomach. That’s super creepy, I will never understand why people think it’s okay.
Lol I’m surprised “how much weight have you gained?” And “are you doing your kegels?” Aren’t on this list!
There is only one acceptable comment to a pregnant woman: You look great!
hi everyone i had been married since 3 and half years ago, since then i am trying to conceive. my age is 34 years now, my hormonal reports including FSH,LH,estrogen and thyriod function tests are normal, my diagnostic laproscopy is also normal and my husbands semen analysis is also normal. my serum prolactin levels are normal, but i have got breast tenderness and secretion after ovulation upto my periods. i have underwent three cycles of IUI without any success. now i am worried what to do? please give me possible reasons for this delay and what should be the future course of action. how can i have a baby for my husband that was my question. so a friend introduce me to this native iya basira so i contacted her, after using her herbs she sent, to my believe i was tested pregnant, it was an amazing miracle. when i showed my husband the result i could see the joy in his eyes, thank iya basira once again for your help, may the lord continue to bless you for the fertility help you are giving we women in need, this is her email contact, for you guys that need her help, she is a wonderful mother. [email protected]