As mamas, it is true that we must do the brunt of the work when it comes to having a baby – our bodies must bend and grow like we have never imagined. We must forgo our previous much-loved but perhaps not-so-healthy activities (ie. wine-o-clock).
The list of pregnancy-related symptoms that expecting moms must endure seems endless – the nausea, vomiting, heartburn, constipation, Braxton-hicks… The list goes on and on.
And we haven’t even talked about what a treat labour is yet!
The moral of the story is that we as mothers are kind of big deals. So much so, in fact, that sometimes our supportive partners aren’t quite sure how to help us through it all. Because we all need a bit of help, despite how awesome we are.
Here are 80+ ways for partners to participate and help a woman through pregnancy, labour, birth and beyond!
80+ Ways to Help New Moms Through Pregnancy, Childbirth, Postpartum & Beyond
Pregnancy
1- Come to prenatal appointments
2- Come to ultrasound appointments
3- Help plan a fun pregnancy or gender reveal party
4- Host a diaper shower with friends, or co-host a baby shower
5- Carry the laundry basket up the stairs (and while you’re at it- do the laundry!)
6- Pick up food cravings when requested
7- Tell her that she is beautiful every day
8- Pick out baby names together
9- Help plan the nursery décor and do the painting and renovations needed
10- Talk to older siblings about having a new baby and what it means to your family
11- Take pregnancy photos together
12- Listen to your partner’s worries and concerns
13- Take care of the pets – including the litter box!
14- Arrange the game plan for when labour strikes, and help pack bags accordingly
15- Attend a prenatal class, and try not to complain the whole time
16- Get her a Snoogle, and half of your side of the bed
Labour
17- Help time contractions
18- Help keep her comfortable while laboring at home
19- Make her food to eat while she is in early labour
20- Arrange child care for older siblings
21- Bring some of her favourite music to listen to
22- Call the labour ward when contractions are getting closer
23- Make sure everything including her hospital bag makes it into the car in time
24- Bring her to the hospital with plenty of time to spare
25- Be there to lean on (literally and not) during contractions
26- Feed her ice chips or give her sips of water regularly
27- Give her back rubs or apply pressure to her hips (if she likes it)
28- Tell her how great she is doing
29- Be in contact with friends and family
30- Make sure friends and family give her the space that she needs
31- Apply cool cloths to her forehead if it helps
32- Hold her hand
33- When she tells you she needs drugs, remind her how strong she is
34- Stay calm and sit down if you feel light-headed (the nurses don’t need another patient!)
35- Ask questions if one or both of you are confused about something
36- Help her reposition in bed, on the birthing ball, or in the chair
37- Help her to the bathroom
38- Walk with her up and down the hall
Child Birth
39- Stay supportive while she is pushing
40- Give her sips of water between contractions
41- Hold her hand
42- Help her bring her chin to chest
43- Help her keep her legs up while pushing
44- Whisper in her ear how proud you are of her
45- Remind her how strong she is
46- Request to cut the cord, or if you’re feeling lucky, to catch your baby!
47- Remind healthcare staff to do skin-to-skin between mom and babe, so long as no concerns with baby
48- Take pictures of your new baby, including one with baby on mom’s chest and baby getting weighed
49- Call or text friends and family with the great news
50- Take time to hold and bond with your new baby
51- Do skin-to-skin with your baby, especially if mom if not available due to surgery or complication
52- If having a cesarean section, make sure to come with her to the OR and hold her hand during the procedure
53- Bring mom the most delicious food that you can think of
Postpartum
54- Change the baby’s diaper before feeds
56- If bottle feeding, feed your baby
57- If formula feeding, use best practices
58- Help with the baby’s first bath, or take pictures
59- Ask lots of questions about newborn care
60- Pick up any prescriptions or over-the-counter medications that mom and baby may need (nipple ointment, vitamin D drops, pain killers if cesarean)
61- If cesarean, help mom change her abdominal dressings when wet or soiled
62- Watch the baby daily so mom can have showers and time to herself
63- Help keep the house tidy so that mom can nap when baby sleeps
64- Restrict visitors so that mom and baby don’t become overwhelmed
65- Advocate for your baby – if crying, make sure that your baby is given back to mom for a feeding
66- Take some time off work- as determined by you and your partner
67- Spend extra time with older siblings to make sure they continue to feel loved and supported
68- If cesarean section, make sure mom is following the surgeon’s instructions on heavy lifting – help her with the groceries, pick up older children, do the driving, vacuum the house
69- Do not pressure mom to begin having intercourse again until she feels ready
70- Take the time to pick up and drop off older siblings at grandma’s or daycare at least once a week
71- Be in charge of diaper duty
72- Get to know normal baby behaviour, especially crying and sleeping
73- Play and cuddle with your baby
74- Encourage regular tummy time
Breastfeeding
75- Make sure mom stays well-hydrated
76- Set mom up with a breastfeeding station – with snacks, a drink, the remote, phone, breastfeeding pillow, magazines
77- Get up with baby at night to change the diaper and bring to mom if breastfeeding – especially if she had a cesarean section as well as on your days off work!
78- If baby is fussy and mom is frustrated, offer to take and calm baby
79- Make food for both of you when you are home
80- Give mom and baby room in bed if mom chooses to bring baby to bed for night feedings
81- Help mom feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, and support her if she receives any backlash (which she shouldn’t!)
82- Even when times are tough, don’t suggest formula – if she is feeling discouraged, remind her how well she is doing and suggest that you all go see a Lactation Consultant
83- Keep her company and entertained while breastfeeding – make sure that she doesn’t feel isolated or missing out
84- If mom pumps, help set it up and wash the bottles and parts
There you go – 80+ ways to support a woman through pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and beyond! I hope that you have found this helpful and feel free to share it with your significant other or friends and family. And please, if you have other ideas on how to support a new mom, include them in the comment section below!
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This is a very helpful list for fathers to be!
Love these! Especially the breastfeeding support, that was the most awesome thing my hubby did when I was new to nursing my baby.
Loved the checklist at the end!!! So awesome!
This is such a comprehensive list, great job!
This is an amazing list! There are so many things a helper/spouse/best friend/family member can do to make new baby time easier on the exhausted mama.
Such an awesome list! I think you’ve included every thing I could have thought of and then even more! I especially love “do the laundry.” 🙂
Wow! great list and very detailed… I wish I had read this before when I was pregnant with my two. But I’m sure this is very useful and informative for mum-to-be out there. #KCACOLS
Good list, my only issue would be with numbers 42 and 43 – they assume a woman should be on her back pushing which (as a midwife myself) I really disagree with! Apart from that, great tips! ? #KCACOLS
Absolutely LOVE this!!! It can be tough for a new father to fall into his role. Sometimes, they just feel awkward and out-of-place and I think having a checklist handy would be a wonderful idea for the compartmental-like man brain. <3 #KCACOLS
This is such a useful post for fathers-to-be with loads of clear suggestions. Thanks so much for sharing it. Thanks for linking with #KCACOLS. We hope you come back again next week.
Hi ,
Your post is so so helpful & amazing !
“80+ Ways to Support a Woman During Pregnancy, Labour, Childbirth and Beyond” ………..i really proud by reading this post !
Best of luck !
Thanks !
🙂
Hi Rita, thanks so much for your kind comments. You should be proud! Thanks for reading.
This is an amazing post! I am six months pregnant and it will help me a lot after I become mom! Keep going such an amazing blogging!