7 Things Your Partner Shouldn’t Do in the Delivery Room

Men of the world, let me let you in on a little secret: you really do not want to get on a labouring woman’s bad side! With that in mind, it is in your best interest to keep the following seven things out of the delivery room when your partner is in labour:

That McDonald’s Cheeseburger You Want For Lunch

Not only will this make your partner insanely jealous while she sips on her ginger ale and slurps red Jell-O, but the smell may make her nauseous and most importantly angry at you for making her want to throw up. Stick to low-odour foods in the delivery room, like ham sandwiches. They are always a safe bet.

Make sure you get some food brought to you so that your wife doesn’t have to hear you complaining about how hungry you are while she is trying to push a baby out of her vagina.

And whatever you do, do not go across town for that Mr. Sub you so desperately desire instead of the Subway next door to the hospital because it is “better”. It would just be your luck that shortly after getting stuck in a traffic jam, you receive a panicked phone call from your partner asking where you are because she’s fully dilated and about to start pushing.

If this happens and you miss the blessed event, you will never live it down and you will owe her your soul forever. Once your partner delivers she will be ravenous. It will then be your duty to bring back the greasiest, most delicious foods out there!

Those Muddy Boots

The last thing your partner is going to want to worry about while pacing back and forth between contractions is getting a sopping wet foot from your wet shoes or boots. Save everyone the grief and take them off at the door.

While your at it, think ahead and pack yourself some indoor shoes as the probability of stepping in something unfortunate is high. And no, you do not get to complain if your wife’s water breaks all over the floor and you step in it. It’s not the same thing, and chances are she is completely soaked so complaining about it to her is not a wise decision.

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Tablets and Mini TVs

I don’t care if your wife is sleeping in between contractions and you are bored out of your mind. Or if it’s the last inning at the end of the World Series. Putting the game on while your partner is in labour with your child is a death wish.

Unless your partner is a sports fan and getting Sports Center updates will help take her mind off contractions (which I highly doubt), do yourself a favour and PVR the game. This situation is probably why PVR was invented in the first place.

Gum If You Chew Really Loudly

The benefits of having fresh breath will be offset by the annoying smacking sounds that chewing gum produces. A good middle ground would be to brush your teeth (especially if you’re a smoker) and to ban gum in the delivery room. Win-win!

If that’s not possible, I’m sure your partner would settle for breath mints. Trust me, no one wants to smell garlic breath or hear annoying chewing sounds while in labour!

Your Phone

Unless you are playing a game that your partner can participate in, then leave that phone in your pocket.

Regardless of what you may think, she will not appreciate listening to the play by play of your exciting game of candy crush. I know that game is super awesome and addicting but your child’s birth is definitely not the time or place.

Same goes for frequently checking social network updates or messages on your phone. Having a baby pretty much makes you a celebrity and it can be hard to resist checking your phone, but your priority should be about supporting mom and baby. After baby is born I give you carte blanche to tweet and post away the good news!

Your Family

While family involvement will depend on your partner’s birth plan, it is generally a safe idea to have your parents waiting patiently in another room far, far away instead of in the delivery room or just outside.

Your wife will be at her most fragile and will not want to worry about whether her mother-in-law and father-in-law saw or heard something she didn’t want them to.

Every new mom wants to pretend everything embarrassing that happened during labour and delivery was part of her imagination, and that is her right! The less witnesses the better.

Also, do not go out of the room to talk to them every five minutes. If she asks you to give them an update then by all means but otherwise wait until you get the blessing to bring them in to see the newest addition to your family.

Anything Annoying. Really.

This encompasses all things that could potentially annoy your partner or set her on edge during labour… So pretty much everything.

It’s pretty easy. If she tells you to stop breathing weird, stop breathing. If you’re being too chatty with the hospital staff, stop talking. And if you’re laughing too much, definitely stop laughing. Best of luck as your future may greatly depend on your actions.

The labour and delivery experience can be hard on both moms and dads. But your partner wins because she had to walk around with a giant baby in her uterus for nine months, and now has to push it out.

To avoid receiving awkward death stares during your partner’s labour, follow the above suggestions. Soon enough you will have a new beautiful baby and it will all be worth it. But never ask your partner how much longer until the baby will come out, or you may get throat punched!

Have any funny stories about dudes in the delivery room? Any extra advice? Please share in the comment section below!

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TheMamaNurse

Hi! I am a Registered Nurse on a unit that encompasses labour and delivery, postpartum, medical, surgical and palliative care in a rural hospital in Ontario, Canada. I am a mom of two and am passionate about women's rights, mom and infant care, parenting and nursing. I hope to create an educational, entertaining and highly relatable resource for women around the world. Thanks for stopping by! Xo, The Mama Nurse

7 thoughts on “7 Things Your Partner Shouldn’t Do in the Delivery Room

  • November 13, 2015 at 5:07 pm
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    Haha so true about the screen time. My husband was on his phone A LOT until I made him turn it off. I find that a lot of people over pack for the hospital. Nothing will distract you from the pain. I find it’s best to concentrate on the task at hand. Great post!

    Reply
    • November 13, 2015 at 11:56 pm
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      Thanks Angela! I have seen it many times while working in the delivery room and postpartum… technology can be addicting and make you forget to be in the moment! And those moments are ones that you won’t be able to get back. I agree that people over pack for the hospital often but I guess it’s better to be looking at it than looking for it!

      Reply
  • December 13, 2015 at 1:21 pm
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    THANK YOU! This is what every partner should read before the labour process gets started!
    Hahaha “if she tells you to stop breathing weird, stop breathing.”
    Great blog Tori!

    Reply
    • December 17, 2015 at 11:35 pm
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      Thanks for stopping by Marissa, glad you got a kick out of my post! <3

      Reply
  • February 21, 2016 at 6:32 pm
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    Ha, ha, excellent advice, as always!
    I have an idea for you. You should write a little ebook called “The Dad-to-Be’s Short & Sweet Guide to Labour and Delivery” and include this post plus some tips on how to actively help the mom-to-be through labour.
    And if you find someone to also illustrate it with funny images you could sell it on Etsy for baby showers and expecting parents :)). Or give it away as a subscription gift. I would love to see this 🙂

    Reply
    • February 28, 2016 at 9:27 pm
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      OMG Irina that is a brilliant idea! I have no idea how to do any of that, but I am definitely going to look into it! From experience, I think a lot of new dad’s could use the advice 😉

      Reply
  • November 22, 2016 at 6:12 pm
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    🙂 This really made me chuckle and brought back some memories. My lovely husband has nearly passed out at a couple of our kids’ births – he likes to joke that they were ‘difficult births for him’ ha! So maybe guys should be told to leave their squeamishness at the door, or generally any of their own physical needs, at least for a few hours 🙂

    Reply

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